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Should You STOP Doing Kegels?

Updated: Sep 26, 2023

Last week I, Tosh, was a guest speaker at "Healthy Vagina Monologues: What your mama & society won't tell you!" with Kenya McGuire Johnson.


We discussed what is and isn’t working for women regarding sex and aging. It was fire!


Honestly I was nervous about being on a panel with two Doctors. But those feelings went away at the end of my presentation when they complimented me with, “your explanations, your word descriptions and images were excellent” and “thank you for showing vulva diversity.


Awwhh, I truly received their kind words.


If you missed the summit (sorry, no replay), lemme share with you 3 Aha’s women were most surprised to learn.



Dr Donna G. Ivery revealed details only a gynecologist (who's been practicing for 30 years!) could tell you about menopause and perimenopause. She said, “you need to have 12 consecutive months WITHOUT a period to ‘graduate’ into menopause. If your period comes in month 11, then you have to start clock again.” The zoom chat erupted with that tidbit.




Then Dr Brie Coleman, who teaches about pelvic floor health, said, “STOP DOING KEGELS! LOL, yaass honey you betta believe hands flew up. Women wanted to know WHY. Because think of your pelvic floor as a bowl that controls your vagina and your anus. You need the ability to squeeze AND release. The problem is most women squeeze but can't RELEASE so the pelvic floor muscles won’t relax. Kegels train your pelvic floor to squeeze and overwork. If you can’t relax or release your pelvic floor bowl, then it’s hard to relax your vagina and receive orgasm and/or it’s difficult to release your anus for an easy bowel movement. Dr Brie also said, “regular orgasms (alone or with a partner) are the best way to relax and maintain pelvic floor health.”


So, ladies, self-pleasure is indeed a wellness practice! Do you have a standing date/time for your self-intimacy?


And, yours truly, dropped the mic when I said, “many people say ‘vagina’ when they really mean the vulva. There’s a difference. The vulva includes your labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and the opening to the urethra (the hole you pee out of). While vagina is only the birth canal and where penis penetration occurs.


Then I further explained the anatomy with images from the Bodysex Workshops. Afterwards four women wanted to voice how healing it felt to see vulva diversity (vulvas have different shapes and sizes and because we don’t see vulvas we may inaccurately believe that ours is wrong or ugly) and to FINALLY understand the proper name and function of their genital anatomy. That's why I love leading Bodysex Circles!


It’s becoming more and more clear that, regardless of age, most women are missing some key (and necessary!) ingredients about sex and overall reproductive health because we’re not properly educated about our own bodies. But with accurate knowledge, you can have more pleasure, less pain, and better reproductive health.


Female sexuality is so deep and powerful and cannot be ignored, especially when aging…because you need a healthy body to age gracefully.


If you’re ready to RECLAIM the sacredness and power of your body, join us on a live or virtual sexual wellness retreat.







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